“The feeling of not belonging is a sign that you are supposed to be somewhere else, doing something different. Let it push you. Let it shove you. Let it force you onto a new path” - Unknown. Loneliness is one of the most common and profound human emotions. Everyone feels lonely, no matter how many friends they appear to have. Traveling solo is one of the most isolating things on the planet, and in the past couple of years I have experienced an abundance of sorrow because I felt completely alone. But I’ve learned to embrace that. I have become used to being on my own, and even enjoying it. I learned to be grateful for every feeling I feel, because it shows I’m still growing. Although being alone doesn’t equal feeling lonely, being oceans away from your closest friends and family does.
I am extremely close with my family, and I think it is hardest being so far away from them. They’re all amazing and I love being around them. If it was possible to bring them everywhere with me, I would. They support me in everything I do, and I could not do this without them. Having a strong support system is both a blessing and a curse. The support is so important when you feel like giving up, but not being able to spend quality time with your loved ones is very hard. I’m sure many of you can relate. Honestly, FaceTime is such a blessing because I can still catch up with people from home everyday, though it’s not quite the same. I try to do monthly catch ups with my friends back home at least so we can stay in the loop, but that’s not always super easy. I call my mom almost everyday. Connecting with people in any way you can is the best way to fight off the loneliness. I would say that overall, I do pretty well with filling my days, but when I don’t have work, I can start to go crazy.
One simple way to fight being lonely is to make friends with people in the city you’re in. Having roommates is an easy way to make friends, because they’re basically built in. Language barriers can make it tough though, and just because you’re roommates doesn’t mean you will click as friends. But it definitely can make things a bit easier. You can usually find someone, as long as you’re willing to try. Also, going to model parties is a great way to meet people. The first few weeks take some adjusting but after that you can kind of find your crowd. Once you meet people, you have to put yourself out there and ask to hangout. If you never ask, you can’t expect to make real friends. I used to have a very hard time reaching out but I’ve gotten much better at it. I enjoy having good friends to do fun things with so it’s worth it to just reach out and ask. Invite them for lunch, or coffee, or to walk in a park. It doesn’t have to be anything special but it’s great to just chat and get out of the house. It’s a skill you can learn, no matter who you are, and it is an important one for adult life.
When I do have to spend time alone, I try to embrace it. I take myself on dates and do things I love to do. I’ll walk around a park, go to the mall, read in a coffee shop, or go to a bookstore and wander for a while. All of these things are fun for me, so I can enjoy having time with myself while not being stuck in my apartment. I get a lot of opportunities to work on myself, think and learn more about myself and use my energy to improve. These are the moments that really help me grow as an individual, and no matter how much it makes me nervous to go out alone, it is definitely worth it. If you’re nervous, find something that makes you happy. Look for a place near you that you’ve always wanted to visit, and just do it. Learn to enjoy spending time alone and not relying on being surrounded by people to feel fulfilled. Don’t think too hard and embrace being uncomfortable, I promise you won’t regret it.
Though I get sad sometimes, I have learned to embrace it and know I am growing from these emotions. Nothing is ever easy, but I think all of the struggles are worth all the positives in my life, so when I can, I try to look on the bright side. Some days I just want to wallow, and that’s okay, but I try not to do it for too long because that doesn’t help either. Nobody is perfect, but pushing yourself out of your comfort zone every once and a while is so important, we never want to stop growing and learning. I have grown and changed so much in the past year, more than I could’ve predicted, and all of the changes have been for the better. When it comes down to it, you just have to take everything a day at a time,and fill your time with the things you love, and it will all be okay.
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